No... Not yet dammit. Weren't you told there wouldn't be any 3DS downloadable fun for a while? What do you mean, 'why's Nintendo so late in patching in the 3DSware network?'
'It should have been done for launch!' - how dare you!
Why don't you just click through the jump for this weeks offerings from the big N while we try to compose ourselves after your little tirade...
The nerve of you.
This week, players of any age are invited to check out new demo versions of games for the WiiWare™ service – one offering competitive darts challenges, the other giving preschoolers a fun way to learn by interacting with baby animals. For the Nintendo DSiWare™ service, there’s a new version of a classic card game, plus a wild new photo-manipulation game that can turn an ordinary face into something eerie and outrageous. The wide selection of downloadable games for Nintendo systems truly has something for everyone.
Dart Rage (demo version)
Publisher: JV Games Inc.
ESRB Rating: E (Everyone) – Alcohol Reference
Price: 0 Wii Points™; full version available for 600 Wii Points
Description: Grab your Wii Remote™ controller and prepare for the ultimate game of darts on your Wii™ console. With no buttons to push, you’ll be completely immersed in the game’s realism. Dart Rage puts you in the spotlight as you compete against friends, the computer or both. With four great games to choose from – including 301-901, Cricket, Poker and American (Baseball) darts – Dart Rage has plenty of options to keep the game fresh. There is also a VS mode in which you can compete at the same time in a race to the finish. Rock out to the sizzling soundtrack with a commentator announcing your every shot or miss.
Learning with the PooYoos: Episode 2 (demo version)
Publisher: Lexis Numerique
ESRB Rating: EC (Early Childhood)
Price: 0 Wii Points; full version available for 500 Wii Points
Description: Welcome to the first fun, poetic brain-trainer for children aged 3 to 6. With the PooYoos, a merry band of adorable baby animals, children will have fun while learning the basics for development, including numbers, letters, lateralization, shapes and colors. Children get to dance with their new friends and earn lovely interactive rewards. With two levels of interactivity, children of any age or level can play the activities based on plants and music. This game has been designed for use by children who have not yet grasped reading. The instructions are spoken in French, English or Spanish, depending on the language setting of your Wii console.
Note: Some demo versions do not support all game features, and players cannot save their in-game progress in demo versions.
Publisher: Engine Software
ESRB Rating: E (Everyone)
Price: 200 Nintendo DSi Points™
Description: Simply Solitaire gives you exactly what you want: pure Solitaire on your Nintendo DSi™ system. Solitaire (also called Patience) is a single-player card game involving a layout of cards with a goal of sorting them. Solitaire games involve dealing cards from a shuffled deck into a prescribed arrangement on a tabletop. The player attempts to reorder the deck by suit and rank through a series of moves, transferring cards from one place to another. The simple game design and easy, intuitive controls make it a game that the whole family can enjoy. The game has 50 puzzles in each level to guarantee hours of fun game play.
Publisher: Neko Entertainment
ESRB Rating: E (Everyone) – Mild Blood, Comic Mischief, Alcohol Reference
Price: 200 Nintendo DSi Points
Description: Faceez is back, and this time it will scare your friends. Faceez: Monsters! features frightening new disguises and accessories, including the living dead, werewolves, vampires and zombies. Take pictures of your friends’ faces, turn them into abominable monsters and place them in your own settings. Expect lots of laughter and fun as you share your monstrous creations.